My "why"

My why is a little bit different than everyone else's and a bit longer :) Of course the main reason for the challenge was the fundraising effort, but it was more than that for me.

The back story: In September of 2011, one of the most amazing things happened to me...I met the guys in my second favorite band, Buckcherry. It was one of the best days of my life. I was so happy. My favorite band member is Xavier, the drummer (and I am positive I sounded like a babbling idiot the entire time I talked to him because he's gorgeous and one of my idols) but I managed to ask him to smile in our picture together. He did. So did I...a big one! We both smiled perfectly and I look so happy! It was a beautiful thing...a totally AWESOME day, event, experience...
Until I saw the picture...
oh, yeah, HE looks great (how could he not, even on his worst day? lol)
BUT...
I hated everything about ME in that picture. I hated the shape of my body, how huge I looked next to him, my stomach was the worst, my neck, my arms, just EVERYTHING about my weight. I was overweight and I could see it. I was so out of shape and I COULD SEE IT.
I was embarrassed to share that picture and it made me sad.
I mean who really cares what my body looks like when I am this happy, right???

Who cares? Obviously, I finally did! I cropped out all the "bad" parts and kept our smiling faces to share the pic of one of the happiest days of my life.

It was time for change.

Fast forward 5 months to February 14, 2012 to Another day that changed my life...one of the toughest.
I was running late for work by about 5 minutes. My boss (and close friend outside of work) was on the job site already (where I should have been) where a piece of the steel Substation structure (that was being built) fell on her. She did nothing wrong. She was doing her job, just at the wrong place at the wrong time. She ended up with a broken ribs and a broken back and has still not returned to work and never will. :(

Finally in May of 2012, three months later, when I realized my boss's life was changed forever...I started to change my life.
Why? Because I CAN! I am physically able! Anyone who CAN, should! just because they can!

A year and a half later, I am over 50 pounds lighter and have lost 4 sizes! with a few setbacks and some life struggles along the way, I am more determined to reach my goals, now more than ever.

About 5 weeks ago, I started a "one ingredient challenge" with my personal trainer to keep me on track through the holidays. I am on the final week of that challenge, and I did not do the one ingredient part during Christmas week only. (woohoo!) This week is the final week of that challenge and the first week of this new challenge.
Perfect timing for this challenge because it gave me 6 more weeks to stay on track...

which brings me to my WHY for this challenge...
I have another meet and greet with Buckcherry on 2/22!! This challenge will end about a week and a half prior to that.
I was given an opportunity, a second chance...a chance for another picture! :) My "comparison" picture! The picture that changed my life and a new one that shows the change!
I truly want to look my best for this picture... I don't want to hate it. I want it to show how happy I am and I want to LOVE it.

I CAN and I will...if for no other reason than I worked so hard for it.

Me+machines=disaster!

so I went to the gym today.
seriously, it's not that big of a deal. I have been to a gym before (a long time ago) ...but I have to start a list of things I do today that I didn't do six months ago.
1. go to gym. lol
2. Run
3. Spend more than $50 on sneakers (not happy about this one lol)
4. zumba
5. Jillian (enough said!)
6. I eat spinich. & fish AND eggs lol
7. feel great most of the time
8. Plank!

Well that was a nice distraction. Made me feel a little better.

I think the gym may have intimidated me today - well at least the weight section. not to mention the treadmill tried to kill me. :( I was doing great until I tried to increase the speed of the treadmill (cuz i was running) and my finger got caught on my headphone wire, which tore the headphones out of my ears and knocked my phone onto the treadmill and I tried to catch it...FAIL. and then the treadmill tried to kill me. *sigh* I finally caught my balance, stopped the machine...picked up the phone...started again and I was PISSED...because the "deathtrap" erased all my stats. :( then I realized the program on my phone doesn't track distance when running on a treadmill. nice.

After that disaster was over...I walked around aimlessly, looking around trying to figure out what to do next. lol walked over to weight section and just felt overwhelmed.
Wow. I have a lot to learn...for the next six month "improvement" list. :/

good news is that I got my c25k in today and I didn't freeze or get drenched.
tomorrow is another day...I will try again.

Amazing Day! :)

these "amazing days" are far and few in between for me. Wednesdays are weigh-in day, so my day started off great when the scale said I had lost 2lbs in the past week! woot! :)
so then an okay day at work...
I did Week 2 Day 1 of c25k...imagine that...I didn't die!!  honestly I can't imagine me running for five minutes straight, let alone 8 or 20! *gasp* but today..I made it through. 5 min warm up, jog 90 secs then walk 2 mins (do this for 21 mins) then 5 min cool down.  My shins were KILLING me. they don't hurt now, but they do hurt if I touch them, it feels like black and blue.
Okay, enought about that. 
I had a doctor appt. at 3pm. First thing...weight. nice. I stepped on (no shoes) fully clothed, and guess what? 2 lbs lighter than this AM!!!!! Awesome! Dr. comes in, I ask him to check the date and the weight of the last time I was here...4/18/12 was the last time I was there and I was toting an extra 40 pounds the last time too.  :) :) :) Yep! It's official, I have lost exactly 40 lbs and close to 20" off my entire body. It feels great.
that's not all...I get home early, its a gorgeous day...and there is a free PepsiMax/Jeff Gordon Hoodie in the mail.  I won it.  (Two days ago, I got a free exercise dvd I won.  Today I got an email that said I won the Latte Lovers sweepstakes! Just a prize pack but its worth about $50. :)
frozen pizza and cereal to celebrate! lol j/k but that actually is what I had for dinner ;)
the only bad news is my shins...but we arent giving up. :)
eventually I will post a pic...and get my whole story wrote out. lol (yeah I keep saying that).

10 things...

10 things I would tell the "old" me
1. veggies aren't really that bad...if they are cooked the right way.
2. coffee creamer is the f*cking devil!!!!!
3. get off your ass and do something.
4. don't doubt yourself so much
5. never give up
6. water is your friend ...but get ready to pee....ALOT
7. you can motivate yourself
8. you are worth it
9. what happened to "its all about me?" ...always focus on that
10. try something new.

NSV n stuff

Ok. it took me a while to figure this one out...but once I finally caught on, I realize I have them ALL THE TIME! :)
NSV= NON Scale Victory in the health world (a.k.a. myfitnesspal.com or mfp)
wow. who would have thought. I learn something new everyday. lol

Anyways...I''m sharing today's NSV...there are actually a few for today. :)

NSV #1..I used to have a tastycake koffee kake every single morning with a XL Coffee (w ALOT of creamer!) ...those were the old days.  I don't miss those days, but .. today, first time in over 3 or 4 months I splurged and had one and im good now...craving satisfied.  I'm not listening to Jillian any more than I have to. LOL

NSV #2.. i also ate egg/spinach for breakfast! Another bad habit I used to have was not eating breakfast until after I got to work.  This AM I ate (spinich/egg) before I left for work. about 30 minutes after I woke up! O_O
Yeah baby its the new me :)

problem is, I'm not brave enough to share...I mean really share anything yet. Its hard.
I know I am healthier, and even stronger, and in a smaller size...but I still see the negative parts too. I need to focus more on "nsv's" and goal setting (& really writing them out) and progress I have made. mfp tracks that, but it does track personal victories.  I didn't even eat eggs or spinich a year ago! lol that is big important stuff.  So I can track those here...my own blog...my own space.  Yeah well okay and the two of you that actually read this crap. ;)

I don't share this either. I'm a chicken,. but eventually I will have my own success story to tell, and when I do, I am going to scream it loud and proud...so I need notes. :)
yes I know now Im down to one reader. lol I'm okay with that too.

Its actually awesome that I wrote this here...I can consider that another NSV :)

another list...

Wow. it has been forever since I was here...April, 2012.
so much has changed since then. :) Good changes, definitely good changes. 
I don't know where to begin. 

Lists! Yay me! I will start with lists. lol

List #1 - things I NEED to blog about
a. Aerosmith concert/chicago trip...thats where I left off last time
b. my journey in becoming healthy and fit. Yep believe it or not, I finally got off of my ass! :) lost 30 lbs as of May 1, 2012 (and 42 since 3-1-11) and a bunch of inches too! :)
c. Vacation in the Outer Banks in July.
d. WORK blech! all hell has broken loose since February 14, 2012-a day that changed my entire work life as I knew it. *sigh* :'(
e. Winnings...oh heck why bother...couldn't even tell ya what I won, and my computer died (oh, add computer dying as "f" lol) so I haven't even been entering as much. no big wins recently.
g. my Knoebels trip with family/work picnic
h. where im going from here/struggles with "b"/progress/goals etc. (I just need to grow some balls and just post that shit already)
i. my new love for zumba
j. how I have become a coupon slacker (I read a "good deal" post that I wrote a while back, and I was impressed with myself).
k. I haven't really started xmas shopping!! *shock* lol
l. my baby is graduating HS this year ... bittersweet
m. my baby also broke his foot the first football game of his Sr. year. Probably will be out most of the season.
n. all the damn social networking...and connecting shit together and how confusing it all is. and how I have different friends everywhere on these sites and can't keep track anymore. lol
o. all my recent buckcherry shows (and a FREE one coming up)! and how I hung out in Baltimore all day and "met" them for the second time! woot!
p. pictures! holy crap, I'm behind on pictures.
q. to buy a house or not to buy a house...that is the question
r. friends...
s. relatives/reunion/me in charge! lol
t. clothes that used too small and now don't fit! :)
u. upcoming adventures/surprises (yes, I still hate surprises)
v. rock allegiance

so looks pretty much like I should have enough to write about for a while.  maybe I should try this more often...like every day! especially before bed.  I love lists. :)

Aerosmith global warming tour

Yayy! My band is on tour again! not only that...concert season is about to be in full swing!

This year, some Aerosmith girls are having a get together in Chicago. And for once in my life, I am actually going too!! It started out really stressful...ya know, the whole ticket ordeal and the fanclub being way overpriced. you have to have $$$ to be close...or else some awesome luck.  Of which, I have neither! So on a hope and a prayer, after I was ready to give up, we finally got tickets.  Not great tickets, but they are floor tickets, at face value.  and it ended up another friend of mine is coming as well!

Honestly, after the week I had with the tickets stress, I am just happy to be going.  there are some great people that are going to be there and it is going to be so much fun.  I can hardly wait till June. 

I also will be trying to go to the Philly show 7-21.  I haven't bought tickets for that yet because I am waiting it out.  Rumor has it that the best tickets get sold at the last minute...so I wanna test that theory. As for chicago, I didn't really want to travel all that way and then end up NOT getting a ticket, which is the chance you take when you wait till the last minute. 

Like I said..I am not stressing anymore...and I am just happy to be going.  Here's hoping some luck travels my way and my dream of meeting Steven Tyler (for free) comes true. 

If I close my eyes really tight and tap my heals together...it might happen!! :) *sigh*

March Wins

March wasn't as great for wins as the past few months, but I'm not complaining.  i will take whatever I can get for free! :)

Wins for March 2012:
Another Bacardi Tshirt (ARV $4.99)
$50 Gift card for Triumph Brewery in Philadelphia
Free Sirloin Dinner at Outback (ARV $9.95)
40 bonus coke rewards points
Access to ten (10) Marvel Avengers Classic Digital Comics online. (ARV: $5.00 each)

And a free $50 Visa gift card!
I also received a "REWARD" at work from a co-worker, which was a $10 Panera Bread gift card